Home from the Holidays
Sustaining the Nervous System Reset That Signals Safety for Conception
In this issue
Why rhythm is the missing piece in lifestyle practices
How the parasympathetic state supports fertility
Signs your nervous system is stuck in “high alert”
The difference between stress management and nervous system regulation
COMT: the gene that shapes stress sensitivity (and estrogen clearance)
A simple reset practice you can bring home from holiday
Quick reminders to help restore rhythm day to day
When Time Away Restores Equanimity
How often have you returned from a holiday and thought, if only I could keep this feeling a little longer? That sense of equanimity, like a nervous system reset that seems to widen your tolerance for life’s challenges.
I felt it myself after a conference in Singapore on precision health through DNA, when my husband and I headed to the jungle of Malaysia’s Langkawi Island. At the eco-retreat, families and couples slipped into slower rhythms of swimming, yoga, and forest walks while children played free of devices. It took us a couple of days to unwind, a reminder of how stealthily speed creeps in until it takes hold. And still, some holiday-makers resisted the pull of nature’s rhythms and stayed tethered to their screens.
Why Rhythm Matters More Than Lifestyle Practices
When I guide patients through the preconception period, I focus on three levers: nutrition, environment, and what I call rhythm. Rhythm gathers the ideas people associate with “lifestyle” and folds them into patterns of activity, rest, and recovery that align with the rhythms we evolved with: circadian, menstrual, seasonal.
You can technically follow sound lifestyle practices. You can head to the gym for a morning workout, gulp down a green smoothie, and sip coffee on the way to work. You can take a lunch break with a seasonal salad while checking emails. You can come home, unload your stresses onto your partner while cooking dinner from scratch, and relax in front of the television. You can even go to bed at 10.30, after a phone-scroll nightcap, and wake at 6.30, logging your “eight hours.”
On paper it all looks good: exercise, healthy food, time to unwind, plenty of sleep. Yet without rhythm, the body reads it differently. A workout that ends with rushing to work leaves no space to shift down a gear. Moving from home to indoor gym to office without seeing the sun means missing its rise and fall, the cues that align circadian rhythm. A meal eaten on the run, or while multitasking, dampens digestion instead of nourishing it. Replaying your boss’s unreasonableness over dinner hard-wires the brain into boss equals stress. “Relaxing” in front of cortisol-spiking television winds the nervous system up, not down. And a bedtime scroll pushes the brain into alert mode, inhibiting melatonin and robbing sleep of its deep, restorative cycles.
Instead of riding the natural waves between sympathetic “go” and parasympathetic “pause,” you stay stranded in the sympathetic. Always a little too wired, never fully restoring. For some, the toll is so great that energy reserves run dry, leaving you flattened on the sofa, not by choice but by exhaustion.
Why the Parasympathetic State Matters for Fertility
The parasympathetic state is not only where rest, repair, and restoration occur. It is the state that allows reproduction because the body is receiving safety signals. By contrast, a constant state of high alert tells it that now is not the time to make babies.
A dysregulated nervous system, when the sympathetic arm dominates, has been linked to fertility issues in both men and women. In women, it can contribute to anovulation by disrupting the hormonal balance that governs the menstrual cycle. In men, autonomic dysfunction can impair sexual function, libido, testosterone, and sperm quality. More broadly, chronic stress, poor nutrition, and inflammation all feed into nervous system dysregulation, and the brain’s reproductive hormone-producing neurons are highly sensitive to these signals. In other words, when the nervous system is unsettled, fertility feels it.
What’s Your State?
You may be so used to living in an upregulated state that you don’t even recognise it. Some signs include:
Difficulty falling asleep, or waking in the night and struggling to fall back asleep.
Waking without feeling fully restored.
Feeling jittery after coffee, or needing more and more of it just to function.
Poor digestion, whether constipation, loose stools, or food-related discomfort.
For women: irregular cycles or more severe PMS.
For men: reduced testosterone and libido.
For almost everyone: irritability, anxiety, quickness to anger, or a mind that won’t switch off even when the body is exhausted.
Being easily triggered, reacting rather than responding.
Chronic health issues despite “doing all the right things.”
These are the body’s way of signalling that rhythm has been disturbed.
For those facing fertility challenges, this plays out in very real ways. The stress of trying to conceive, the rollercoaster of IVF cycles, and the constant tracking can push the nervous system deeper into sympathetic mode. When that happens, even carefully timed ovulation tracking or medical cycles are working against a background of dysregulation that adds a hidden layer of resistance. In such a state, the nervous system prioritises survival over reproduction.
Beyond Stress Management: Nervous System Regulation
We hear a lot about stress management techniques: meditation, yoga, breathing exercises. These can be helpful when stress overwhelms us. But nervous system regulation is different. Rather than waiting for stress to take hold and then trying to reduce it, regulation is about living in rhythm from the outset.
When practices are woven into daily rhythm, the nervous system develops a wider “window of tolerance.” The antics of your boss may register as mildly irritating rather than threatening, and the body doesn’t tip so easily into survival mode. Stressors still exist, but they land differently because the foundation is more stable.
The good news is that rhythms can be restored. Our biology is remarkably responsive once we begin to give it the right cues, and the clearest cues come directly from nature:
Light. Morning sunlight and the darkness that follows sunset synchronise cortisol and melatonin, setting in motion the reproductive hormonal cascade that prepares an egg for ovulation.
Sleep. A conducive evening environment allows depth, repair, and restoration. Going to bed and waking at regular times anchors the body’s internal tempo.
Food. Eating meals at regular times in a convivial atmosphere, and aligning them with daylight hours, helps regulate insulin and cortisol, which stabilise reproductive hormones.
Movement and Rest. Bursts of activity balanced with recovery. The type and timing of exercise can also be tuned to monthly cycles and time of day. Some forms ramp up the nervous system, while others calm it.
Direct nervous system practices. Breathwork, eye movement exercises, time in nature, and creating space for unstructured moments all signal safety to the body, giving the green light to fertility.
Cultivating the ability to shift gracefully between sympathetic and parasympathetic states won’t only support fertility, it will elevate your experience of the ordinary moments of life.
Your Genes and Your Nervous System
And because I’ve just come back from a genetics conference, you might be wondering: do genes play a role in nervous system regulation?
Some of us are genetically wired to carry stress longer, others to clear it quickly. Both patterns come with strengths and vulnerabilities. One gene that illustrates this well is COMT.
Gene Spotlight: COMT and Stress Sensitivity
Variations in the COMT gene influence how quickly we clear stress chemicals like dopamine and adrenaline. The rate of clearance affects how long these signals stay active in the body:
Slower clearance variants
Stress hormones linger, sympathetic activation builds, and it becomes harder to return to calm. Everyday life might look like replaying a difficult conversation hours later or still feeling wired long after a stressful meeting.
The upside: slower clearance also means dopamine stays around longer, which can support creativity, drive, and persistence.Faster clearance variants
Stress chemicals are broken down quickly, which can make it harder to sustain focus or motivation. This often looks like losing steam mid-afternoon or needing extra coffee to stay on task.
The upside: faster clearance usually makes people more resilient to acute stress and less likely to get “stuck” in rumination.
Reproductive health note: COMT also clears estrogen. Because estrogen is central to cycle regularity and reproductive health, COMT has implications well beyond stress resilience.
Key takeaway: When we understand our genetic tendencies, we can use rhythm, nutrition, supplements, and environment to buffer vulnerabilities and turn them into strengths. Of course, genes are best considered in the context of the wider genetic picture, not in isolation.
Nervous System Reset
I’ll be writing more in future issues about simple ways to bring rhythm back into daily life. In the meantime, start small. Begin by simply noticing the rhythms of your day. Are there natural moments of winding up and winding down? Do mealtimes feel like pauses, or are they just pit stops? In the evenings, is there a sense of transition toward rest, or are you still in work mode until the moment you collapse into bed?
Just begin to take note. The act of noticing rhythms: circadian, seasonal, menstrual, or daily, opens the door to restoring them.
The catch? We can become so out of sync that we mistake it for normal. It often takes stepping away to realise how dysregulated we’ve been. That’s what a holiday or retreat can do: reveal what it feels like when the nervous system recalibrates.
Reminders to Scatter Around Your Home
Rhythm = Fertility
Your nervous system sets the tempo. Safety signals open the door to rest, repair, and reproduction. Stress signals close it.
Daily cues to restore rhythm:
Light: Morning sun, dim evenings, darkness at night.
Sleep: Consistent bed and wake times, screen-free wind down.
Food: Regular meals, eat in a calm state.
Movement: Alternate effort with recovery; match exercise to time of day and cycle.
Nature & Breath: Step outside, slow your breath, create unscheduled moments.
Remember: Genes may tilt the scales, but rhythm, nutrition, and environment set the stage.
Warmly, Sonja
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Thanks for helping thoughtful fertility conversations travel further. 🤍
Curious to know more? Head to the About & Welcome pages for why I started Baby Ready Health and a bit about me.
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This post is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Always consult a qualified practitioner before making decisions about your health.
REFERENCES:
Chow, R., Wessels, J., & Foster, W. (2020). Brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) expression and function in the mammalian reproductive tract. Human Reproduction Update. https://doi.org/10.1093/humupd/dmaa008
Mcilwraith, E., & Belsham, D. (2020). Hypothalamic reproductive neurons communicate through signal transduction to control reproduction. Molecular and Cellular Endocrinology, 518. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.mce.2020.110971
Moenter, S., Silveira, M., Wang, L., & Adams, C. (2020). Central aspects of systemic oestradiol negative‐ and positive‐feedback on the reproductive neuroendocrine system. Journal of Neuroendocrinology, 32. https://doi.org/10.1111/jne.12724
Prévot, V., & Sharif, A. (2022). The polygamous GnRH neuron: Astrocytic and tanycytic communication with a neuroendocrine neuronal population. Journal of Neuroendocrinology, 34. https://doi.org/10.1111/jne.13104
Qiu, Q., Chen, J., Xu, N., Zhou, X., Ye, C., Liu, M., & Liu, Z. (2023). Effects of autonomic nervous system disorders on male infertility. Frontiers in Neurology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fneur.2023.1277795
Yu, Y., Chen, T., Zheng, Z., Jia, F., Liao, Y., Ren, Y., Liu, X., & Liu, Y. (2024). The role of the autonomic nervous system in polycystic ovary syndrome. Frontiers in Endocrinology, 14. https://doi.org/10.3389/fendo.2023.1295061